Respect cannot be take, only given

When I was 16 years old, I wrote an essay with the above title. I delivered it to my English teacher, instead of delivering the assignment we were supposed to do. My reasons were that our English teacher was trying to force us into respecting her, without realising respect is something that has to be given first. You simply cannot force others into showing you respect. No amount of coercion, violence or threats of punishment, can make others respect you. And after a while, the fear lets go, and you no longer fear them either.

Some people confuse respect with terror and violence, and belive that if they only break a man sufficiently, they can scare the man into respecting them. This is simply not true. A wise man once told me the following.

When you have broken every bone in a man’s body, the whip no longer works

Meaning, the only thing you accomplish by terrorising others, is to make them less respectful of you. There exists no amounts of fear, terror or punishment in this world, that can force another person to respect you. It’s like the story of the Sun and the Wind.

The Sun and the Wind wanted to see who had the most powers, so they created a contest. A man was walking outside, and they wanted to see who could make him take off his coat. First the Wind started. And it blew as hard as it could. But the more it blew, the more the man clinched to his coat. Until finally the Wind had to yield. Then the Sun tried, and it shined as hard as it could. Until the man was so warm, he simply had no other option, but to take off his coat, and hang it over his shoulders. The Sun won!

Respect obeys by the same rules as the above parable. And if you don’t understand my story, you will never have respect!


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.