How Twitter, Facebook and YouTube destroyed my life

There are many ways to read my life’s story. One of its edges, is that I had my life destroyed completely by Twitter, Facebook and YouTube. Since my story is like an angry chewing gum, impossible to get out of my hair, I have chosen to simply tell it myself, such that you can read it how I saw it.

In case you want to read the weirdest autobiography ever written, you can go check it out here. In fact, to make sure I am able to avoid having censorship killing it once again, I created my own tool to allow it to be published. If you’ve got a good book inside of you, and you want to write it, publish it, and sell it for money – Feel free to use my tool to do just that. It’s not entirely stable yet, and has some quirks here and there, but it should start coming together hopefully soon …

If you get in trouble as you read it, shoot me an email at and I’ll fix it for you … 🙂


I am larger than life

PS, you might want to check out what my t-shirt says … 😉

In Norway we have this thing called “The law of Jante”, or “Janteloven” if you wish to Google it. It’s a sarcastic attempt at trying to explain a very negative thing about the Norwegian culture, where you’re not supposed to think you’re anything special, have any skills, etc.

I despise that thing, with every single piece of my heart. Hence, every now and then, I just have this compulsory need to create a blog post, explaining to the the rest of Norway that I have nothing but contempt for this “law of Jante”.

The “law of Jante” is actually a 150 years old poetic attempt at trying to explain Norwegian culture, and how the rest of society will bite off your head, if you put it above the lawn. Kind of like the way the lawn mover will chop it off, if you stick your head above the grass in Canada … 😉

Just to mess with Norwegians in regards to this, I every now and then have to tell them some of the shit I’ve done, to make sure they understand it’s easily possible to be larger than life, even though you’re a Norwegian. Hence, today it’s time for “interesting facts about Thomas Hansen”.

I’ve slept on Venice Beach, partied in the drum circle, for two months consecutively, chasing the Sun into the Sea. What have you done lately …? 😉

Have a shitty ride Mr. Jante …

Ohh yeah, and I have driven a Harley Davidson a thousand miles through Los Angeles … 😀

Fishing in Brazil

Every morning I woke up in Brazil, I’d used to start out my day with a 10 kilometres walk along the beach. Every now and then, there would be a bunch of fishermen, dragging up their nets. I’d help them pull up the fish, which made them admire me. They’re so used to “white people believing they’re better”, not willing “to do an honest piece of labour”, so this would give me a lot of credibility amongst the locals.

About a mile out into the sea, there’s a beautiful coral reef, which we visited once to dive. The picture below, is of me an my girl, feeding the fish. We’d have this bottle, with fish food inside of, which we’d just squeeze under water, and fish would pour in, and eat literally from our hands.

Too many people believe they’re “special”, and that they’re “too intelligent” to do real labour. That makes them loose out on life, and miss a lot of opportunities. The reason why I was able to survive all the weird shit I’ve gone through, is because regardless of where I have been, I have always shown people respect. This allowed me to sleep like a baby on Venice Beach, and hang with the boys in South Central LA. It allowed me to safely go through this world, without experiencing much “bad things”.

I guess the conclusion I am left with is as follows; Treat everybody the way you want them to treat you.

If I am special, it is because I treat everybody else as if they are special!

The Butcher from Serbia

I met him at a Gypsy campsite somewhere in Europe. The owner of the place offered me to sit and have liquor with him and his friends. I sat down and spoke with them. The “butcher” didn’t know much English, so his friends had to translate for him. I asked him what he did, he told me he was a retired “butcher”. He finished the sentence with “and I don’t feel sorry about it either”. He didn’t have to tell me more. He was a Serbian 55 year old man, the rest you can read in history books.

I felt sorry for him. He had that sad look, you only see in soldiers, who have done very bad things. The first couple of years after coming “home” from such a thing, you tend to look over your shoulder, realising “if you can do such things, then others can do the same things that you did”. After a decade, you stop looking over your shoulder, hoping somebody will put you out of your misery. Because, as the night falls, and darkness grows, you’re alone, back in the war, reliving your past.

We spoke for a couple of hours, laughing, telling stories to each other, until I had to go to bed. Before I left, we exchanged lighters. I had one of those lighters that said “Norway”, and he wanted it. I told him he could have it, if he gave me his. He did, and we parted, respectfully. As I saw him in his eyes the last time, I saw a gentle caring father, a family man, and “the butcher” was gone. Nowhere to be seen …

There are no winners in war. It doesn’t matter what uniform or flag you wear. Once you pick up a gun, you have lost – Victimised yourself, your family and everyone around you. There are only losers and victims in war …

Stoana Kato, the best food in Larnaca

I don’t even know the name of this restaurant to be honest with you, since it features a lot of weird letters (Edit, I got to know its name yesterday). But the sign says “bistro & cafe”, and it is among one of the best food experiences I have had since I came to Cyprus. The chef has worked 25 years for Four Seasons, which is considered one of the best restaurants apparently in Limassol, and he’s just simply one of those Magicians with food!

All the food is just marvelous, but I especially recommend the “Goat Cheese Salat” and the “Lamb chops”. The Goat cheese salat, is the weirdest and jummiest salat you can imagine. It has figs, partially grilled veggies, a couple of different lettuces, goat cheese at the top. In addition to the chef’s secret sauce, which I’ve been trying to make him tell me what is, ever since I started eating there, without success! 😉

They have cozy background music, not too noisy, some partial “cross over techno/jazz” thingie running in the background, and the atmosphere is just magic. Me and Lisbeth told one of the waiters about our Banana Frappe once, and now he serves it to us, every time we go there! Totally recommended!

Beneath you can see my birthday sirloin steak, and Lisbeth’s goat cheese salat!

Sorry, we couldn’t even wait with a taste, before we took the picture. It’s partially eaten from …

Jummie, I had to take a bite before we took the photo. This is not the lamb chops btw, but the sirloin steak!

Stories, the coziest bar in Larnaca

In one of the allies, about three minutes walk from Lazarus, you can find Stories. It’s kind of hidden, within one of the most beautiful streets, in this fantastic city. But if you try, you can find it. It has a beautiful scenery and awesome service. A couple of years ago, one of the waiters working there, saw this little kitten that used to hang around the bar. He started feeding it, and was gentle to it. Today the kitten is a grown cat, and sometimes when you go there, it’ll even jump into your lap, expecting you to scratch its stomach.

In the picture, you can see yours truly, with my t-shirt birthday present, given to me by Lisbeth. For the record, I’d probably not buy such a thing myself, but since it was given to me as a present, I figured why not …? 😉

I recommend you taste their “warm wine”, which is made from fresh fruits, by Stories themselves. Not strong in alcohol, and probably more tasting like juice or something, but really delicious. Especially in cold winter nights.

Harry’s Bar in Cyprus, Larnaca

Just outside of the Church of Lazarus is a small coffee shop, ran by Thekla. Thekla serves some of the cheapest (and best) coffee in Larnaca, and you can have a Frappe for 1 EURO and 50 cents.

Yesterday it was my birthday, and Lisbeth told Thekla. 10 minutes afterwards, Thekla starts singing Happy Birthday, and comes out with a cake for me. Obviously I was startled, and didn’t expect that 🙂

Harry’s is situated just in front of the Lazarus square, with some nice sofas, where you can sit and always expect the best service, while you enjoy the view to the place where Lazarus, the man who lived twice, was buried the last time he died.

But the best part, is that here you can meet real people, working for a real “mom’n’pop shop”, just wanting to be nice, and deliver great service and food. Thekla makes all the food she serves herself, and all of it is truly jummie!

In most parts of the world we have lost these “mom’n’pop shops”, however in Cyprus, they are still very much alive and vivid, and can be found all over the place!

Music, art and talent

Most brilliant system developers throughout the history of computing, has also been artists. Or at the very least, had brilliant taste of music and art! Alan Kay is a brilliant jazz guitar player for instance. For some reasons, “taste” seems to be the defining factor when it comes to engineering. You look at something like the Eiffel Tower, and you realise the guy was just as much an artist as he was an engineer.

Below is one of my favourite bands, playing at one of the most epic locations this world has ever seen. A place where civilisation, abruptly ended, within the flash of an instant, and such gave us a frozen image, of life 70 years after Christ!

Everyone with taste, intuitively understands all great art, and immediately dismiss all crap. Which is why art cannot be explained. It simply eludes explanation.

What is art?

And more importantly.

Who should decide what is art?

Our governments? Some rich guy? The police?

And possibly the most important question of them all …

Who was Pink Floyd performing this concert for …?

Spartathlon, and the things people do

The Corinth Canal in Greece. Click the image to see it in fullscreen

When we passed the Corinth Canal in Greece, we simply had to stop. This thing is 2.000 years old, and realising the type of tools they had when they built this thing, makes you truly wonder about what man can do, once he just sets his mind to it!

As we walked out on the bridge, to take photos, we saw some people running. Or to be more accurate, most of them were trying to walk fast, and were obviously  *REALLY, REALLY EXHAUSTED*!

There was a guy standing on the bridge, trying to encourage them, shouting stuff like “come on, you can do it, come on!” We asked him if this was a Marathon, at which point he laughed out loud and said “No, Spartathlon”. A Spartathlon is basically running, non-stop, for 350 kilometres. A Marathon in such a regard, is a freakin’ breeze in comparison, with its 42 kilometres.

I asked the guy “Are they crazy?” – At which point he laughed out loud, and said.

Bat shit crazy, every last fucking one of em! 😉

However, there is a lesson to be learned here, which is as follows; What humans can do, when they simply set their minds to it, never cease to amaze me! And for the record, I prefer bat shit crazy people, any day of the week, before the normal people, who don’t believe they can do shit!

In fact, give me 5 bat shit crazy people, willing to go all in – And I will move the moon for you!! 😉

Don’t let the sun go down

Yours truly making dinner for his beautiful girl inside of “Bodil”

We named our camping car “Bodil”, which is kind of funny for a Norwegian, believe me. As we spent a month through most of Norway, and especially the Northern parts, which are the best parts – We ended up with my family for a week, before we left for Lofoten. Lofoten is just simply one of those breath taking stunningly amazing places on this Earth, where God really gave it his best!

Believe me North Norway, and especially Lofoten, with its spectacular nature, is simply one of those things you have to see before you die! For a couple of months during summer, the sun literally never goes down! It’s sunlight 24 hours every day, for 2-3 months, depending upon how far north you go.

Below are some pictures from this road trip.

The view from “Bodil” our first night in Lofoten. This photo was taken 1AM in the morning!

My girl pounding the meaning of life in Sør-Skjomen. Also a “must see” place.

The next photo is literally holy ground for me, since this was the place I was born. This little “town” had about 20 citizens, and no access besides the train. When my mom was pregnant with me, they actually had an emergency train ready on standby, in case she’d start giving birth, such that they could rush me to the hospital in Narvik.

A picture of Katterat train station, taken from the train, on our way to Kiruna, Sweden

Some simply amazing mountains in Lofoten, photo by Yours Truly

A funny story about Sør-Skjomen was when we parked Bodil for the night, and did some BBQ’ing. We had parked about 200 meters away from the sea, realising it was going to become high-tide later that night, but figured we’d be safe having parked such a distance from the sea. About 2AM in the morning, my girl woke up with this “weird sensation”, and had to go out and check. Guess what, we were about to literally having an unexpected car wash … 😉

She woke me up in panic, and we had to immediately move Bodil, literally dive for our BBQ’er and chairs, before we could go back to sleep again …

Bodil about to get an involuntary “wash”. You can see our BBQ’er, table and chairs in the middle of the ocean in there somewhere …